Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Mountain camping

You`ve got your tent, hiking boots, waterproof jacket big ass rucksack and all those heavy stuff we always take with us to the highest points of the country/world? Good, then read on.

When you leave for a mountain trip, you must make sure your legs are in order, especially the joints - ankles and knees. The hip joint rarely is a problem when hiking.

Always carry extra shoe laces. ALWAYS!
Be prepared for bad weather, since it can change in minutes up in the mountains
Hydrate. You can get heatstroke if you don`t drink lots of water/whatever you drink.
Have fun. You can walk all day and still have a fun and wild night. And you`ll get off cheap - 1 beer in the city = 3 beers after whole day walking.

Follow if you found that usefull - plenty more where that came from.

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

How laziness creates life

A couple of years ago in the winter I was too lazy to get the pips from a mandarin to the trash, so I threw them in an empty pot and buried them. Every night I dump what water/coffee/vodka I have left in my cup in that same pot. BOOM! A few months later - mandarin fucking trees. Lots and lots of them. Another example. I was once too lazy to use a rubber...so all I got was a BJ. Not my point. However, keep in mind that laziness is not always a bad thing. I still keep those trees and they are about 30-40 cm in height, gonna repot them soon. Keep on not truckin`. Because it`s easier.

Monday, August 13, 2012

Blue Mondays

It`s Monday and it`s the start of the new week. Many of my imaginary readers are going to work, cursing the short weekend, some...are not. Regardless, if you find yourself here, reading this, know this: today is the

"Why Mondays suck"

day.

I believe that one of the main reasons Mondays suck is that nothing interesting really happens. Everyone is doing their jobs, no parties, no one to get shitfaced in the morning with, your cocaine dealer is busy. So here`s are a few advices on how to make YOUR Monday more bearable.

1. Don`t get shitfaced on Sunday, you`ll have loads of work and feel like crap. If you are jobless, then, by all means, please. Then brag about it in front of your buddy, who had his eyes melted by staring at an excel table whole day at work.

2. Keep a little stash of coke under your PC at work. It`ll get you though the day. And you know the cleaning lady never cleans the dust there.

Yeah, that`s about all I can muster on how you can live though Monday. That`s how shitty it is. But hey, maybe one of you, imaginary readers, knows how to get shit done on the first day of the week. Share with us in the comments. Cye

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Fuck it, I`m continuing this blog

As a follow-up to my last post, that no one has read, I decided to start this one up again.
Hopefully I`ll write post/day, because obviously I have too much time on my hands. This fist post from the new timeline will be about...

5 things to do while stuck at home sick.

NuMber1

Read a book. Whenever I`m sick and stuck at home, unable to be the party animal that I`m normally not, I read a shitload of books. It`s time consuming, takes your mind off the "I feel like crap"-train of thought and makes you not dumb. With all the ebooks all around you have no excuse not to dl books.

Numero 2

Do something at your house you never got the chance to do when up and running. Trim your flowers, do some minor repairs, break some glasses, tidy your house. Whatever. Or don`t. Nobody is coming to see your sick ass anyway.

III.

Watch a movie with a sick relative or partner. Not a sob, love story teen bullshit. Watch Ice Age or Rambo. It has to be either funny or awesome, because that`s what makes you healthy - laughter and awesomeness. Take it from me - the laughing awesome person, that has nothing better to do, but write a blog.

Four.

Acquire a new skill - cooking, juggling, origami, haiku. The list of things you can`t do is infinite. Or learn something - language, history. Be the first one of your mates to have useless information by the bucket. For example now I`m learning what is the japanese symbol for "5".

δΊ”.

Lie down in bed and moan like they are extracting your brain though your butt.


Every Sunday will be a "5 things to do when...". YOU have been warned. And as a final advice - if someone offers you their swag - run away like hell, because if you don`t the next thing you do will be shouting YOLO while having sex with an AIDS-ridden hooker.